Free Food Recipes

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Penicillin Pizza
6 English muffins
1 Jar pizza sauce
2 c Shredded mozzarella cheese
3 tb Grated Parmesan cheese
Yellow, green and red food

Cookie sheet
Plastic sandwich bag

Split muffins and place on an ungreased cookie sheet, making sure they don't touch.

Spoon a thin layer of sauce on top then cover the sauce with a layer of shredded cheese. Set aside.
Pour the Parmesan into a small bowl and add five drops each yellow, red and green food coloring until it's an even shade of mold green. (Use plastic bag to prevent your fingers from staining.) Set aside.

With an adult's help, broil the pizzas until the cheese has melted and begun to brown. Remove from oven and let cool about 1 minute.

Carefully sprinkle mold on top of hot pizzas. Allow pies to cool slightly before you slip on a lab coat and serve. Serves 6 peaked patients.

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posted @ 9:54 PM   0 comments
Nose Blow Burritos
2 md Tomatoes
1 lb Ground beef
1 pk Burrito or taco seasoning
1 cn (30oz) refried beans
8 Or 10 burrito size soft
Flour tortillas
2 ct (8oz) guacamole
1 ct (16oz) sour cream

Cutting board
3 Bowls
Frying pan
5 Spoons
sm Saucepan

With an adult's help, dice the tomatoes into small pieces and place in a bowl.

With an adult's help, place the ground beef in a frying pan, sprinkle with the burrito seasoning and saute on medium heat until it's well browned. Cover and set aside.

With an adult's help, cook the beans in a saucepan on low heat, stirring occasionally. when the beans are hot, gently combine them with the ground beef in a clean bowl.

To build the burrito beaks: Set one tortilla on a dinner plate. Spoon an approximately one and one half inch wide strip of guacamole dip (rancid mucus) down the center of each tortilla. On top of that, spoon a strip of sour cream (fresh mucus).

Tightly fold the left and right sides of the tortilla over your ingredients, then tuck the lower third of the whole burrito under itself, making a nose shape. With an adults' help, use a knife to cut out two large holes for nostrils. Gently squeeze the nose.

Sicko serving suggestion: Instead of napkins, set each guest's place with an individual size packet of facial tissues.

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posted @ 9:38 AM   0 comments
Homemade Maggot Stew
2 tb Vegetable oil
1/4 c Flour
1/2 ts Salt
1/2 ts Pepper
1/4 ts Garlic powder
1 lb Stew beef cut in one inch Chunks
2 cn (14 1/2oz) plain stewed Tomatoes
1 cn (10 1/2oz) beef broth
1 ts Thyme
1 Bay leaf
3 md To 4 carrots
1 c Fresh or frozen green beans
3/4 c Orzo pasta

Sharp knife
lg Stew pot with lid

Ziploc bag
Long handled cooking spoon
Carrot peeler
lg Saucepan
Slotted spoon
8 Soup bowls
Soup ladle

Place oil in stew pot and with an adult's help, turn heat to medium low. Measure flour, salt, pepper and garlic powder into ziploc bag. Drop in stew beef, seal bag and shake until well coated. Pour contents of bag into the stew pot. Turn the heat up to medium.

With an adult's help, use a long handled spoon to turn the meat every 3-4 minutes, letting the meat brown well on all sides. Cook until the meat begins to look crusty. Add the tomatoes, broth, thyme and bay leaf. Bring to a boil, then lower heat to low.

With an adult's help, peel the carrots and cut them into small coins with a knife. When the stew has simmered for one hour, add the carrots and green beans to the pot. Cover and simmer another 45 minutes.

With an adult's help, cook the orzo in a saucepan according to the package directions. when just tender, drain it through a colander into the sink, shaking out any excess water. These are your maggots. Add them to the stew pot, then turn off heat and carefully blend.

Sicko serving suggestion: Turn any meaty meal into a freakish feast by spreading a layer of orzo maggots on top of your roasted, baked or boiled beast!

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posted @ 9:37 AM   0 comments
Hairball Salad with Saliva Dressing
1 lg Ripe avocado
2 c Alfalfa sprouts
5 lg To 6 carrots, washed peeled and grated
Italian dressing

Paring knife
Mixing bowl
Carrot peeler
4 Salad bowls

With an adults help, cut avocado in half. Use a spoon to scoop out the pit.

Scoop avocado out of the shell and put in the bowl. Add sprouts to the avocado meat. Mash with a fork. It is ok to leave some lumps. Set the mixture aside.

Divide the grated carrots among the four salad bowls.

Using your clean fingers and a spoon, make walnut size hairballs from the avocado mixture and arrange them on top of the grated carrots. Pour Italian "saliva" dressing over hairballs and serve. Serves 4 cat fanciers.

Sicko serving suggestion: Squeeze ribbons of chocolate icing "hairball" medicine out of a paper cone onto the backs of your guests hands to be licked off for dessert.

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posted @ 6:10 AM   0 comments
Gross Guess?!
2 c cooked spaghetti
2 c grapes
1 tbsp. vegetable oil
2 c jello
3 ice cream buckets (or any plastic containers) WITH covers

Put the spaghetti in 1 bucket/container. Cut a hand sized hole in the top of all of the bucket covers. Mix the grapes with 1 tbsp vegetable oil and put in a bucket. Put the 2 c jello in the 3rd bucket. Place all of the covers on. Have a friend feel each one of them and guess what they are! The spaghetti is supposed to be liver. The grapes are supposed to be muscles and the jello is supposed to be brains!

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posted @ 9:24 AM   0 comments
Flat Cat Cookies
1 pk (20oz) refrigerated sugar Cookie dough
1 tb To 2 flour
Red cinnamon candies
Seedless strawberry jam

Rolling pin
Butter knife
Cookie sheet
2 Spoons
Wire cooling rack

With an adult's help, preheat oven to temperature specified on package.

Sprinkle flour on a clean, flat surface and roll out cookie dough slightly thicker than what the package calls for. Then, using butter knife, cut out cookies in the shape of a flattened cat. Use a large spatula to carefully transfer cookies to cookie sheet.

Bake according to package directions. While they're cooling, count out enough cinnamon candies to put two eyes and a nose on each cat. Carefully flatten between the front and back of two spoons and set aside.

Allow the cookies to cool on the cookie sheet for about 3 minutes and then press in eyes and nose. Transfer to wire rack to continue cooling. Dribble jam here and there on each cookie for blood. Makes approximately 3 dozen kitty road kill.

Sicko serving suggestion: Instead of making each cookie in a perfect cat shape, make a few that are missing a limb and/or tail. Why not even sever a head or two? Drip jam blood at stumps for an authentically dismembered look?

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posted @ 9:23 AM   0 comments
Diaper Dump Porridge
1 cn (10 oz) beef broth
1 Tube refrigerated biscuits
1 cn (10 oz) chicken broth

2 sm Saucepans
Slotted spoon
Soup ladle
4 Soup bowls

Pour the beef broth into a saucepan. Set aside and don't add any water.

Remove the biscuits from the tube, seperate them and carefully cut each one in half. Then, using clean hands, sculpt the biscuit pieces into "dump" shapes.

Add the dumps to the beef broth. With an adult's help, place the dumps and broth over medium heat and cook until the mixture comes to a boil. Turn the heat to low, cover the pan with a lid and simmer for 15-20 minutes. Carefully check the broth level often.

Pour the chicken broth (diaper fluid) and one can water into the second saucepan. With a slotted spoon, carefully transfer the cooked dumps from the beef broth and place in the chicken broth pan. Heat chicken broth according to the directions on the can,

Sicko serving suggestion: When you're done eating, place a container of baby wipes on the table for guests to clean up with!

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posted @ 9:17 AM   0 comments
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